Toys and Games

1. I must eat my words about the Crayola Crayon Maker. It's better than the Easy Bake Oven, even if it is harnessing the heat of a 60 watt bulb to melt things. It's been churning out strange, mottled crayon facsimiles nonstop for three days straight. The kids love it. It's the color mixing thing. Artistic kids, melting things, mixing colors. They may just wear it out. I'll have to take a photo. At least I don't have to eat the crayons.

2. Animal Crossing--this game is not what I thought. I don't know what I thought it was, but I didn't really expect my kids to learn about pickup lines. "I had a dream of you eating cole slaw at my house. Want to come over and make it come true? Venom is proving adept at put-downs. She went to the creepy penguin's house and then, when asked what she thought of the place, told him "It is yuck!" We need to have a talk about not going home with strange animals, however. Adventurer Two encountered the same creature, which wanted to know if it could call her "Chickie." His suggestion was soundly rejected. What respectable girl wants to be called that? Filthy animals.

3. Goal for today was to wash two dogs. Goal accomplished. No longer neglected small furry creatures.

No photos today.

The Birds

I've seen ads on BBC for The Birds, Alfred Hitchcock style. I've seen it before. I won't be watching it again. The kids especially won't be watching it. But this post is named The Birds. So there. We took grandma and grandpa and the kids to the best place in the area to take pictures of birds.
The kids were not happy at first. Venom is here expressing the sentiments, shared by her siblings, regarding the cruelty of being taken to this place. Some fresh air straightened everything out, however.

Goose...

Goose...

Goose...

Goose...

Dead Fish! Run!!!

This camera thing...it's genetic...

Big White Bird

Young Adventurer knew what these were from a recent field trip to this horrible place. I think he said the small ones were snowy egrets and the big one is a...something else.

Great blue heron, who was sitting, letting us take his photo just a minute ago but got tired of it.

Venom, who was pleased to pose for the camera...

and Adventurer Two,

who thought she was a celebrity and anyone with a camera was the paparazzi, with her bodyguard.

Young Adventurer was also not in favor of having his photograph taken. He scowled. I have some great scowl shots, however.

We Wish You A Merry Christmas

It's Christmas! A few years ago, we divided the story of the arrival of a Saviour into 11 parts (that's how many pieces were in that particular nativity set) printed it out on cards, tied the cards to the figures of Mary and Joseph and the wise men and the sheep and the donkey, etc. and put the figures in everyones' stockings. Christmas morning we took turns putting the figures into the stable as we read the parts of the story. Now we just take turns reading the parts of the story, and skip the rest. More about that in a minute. This is still my favorite nativity set. My mom made it when Venom was very little. It's taken a beating--various kids have chewed the wise mens' crowns off and I have reglued them more than once. The barn I found for it isn't quite tall enough for the angel to stand up...
So anyway, this year the kids handed out the parts and gave me Mary. What jumped off the page this year as I read my part? Something the angel says to Mary: "for nothing is impossible with God" and after that, what Elizabeth says when she greets Mary, "Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished."
After that, we made a molehill out of the mountain of presents under the tree. Did anyone else get special slippers like this? And you thought the Snuggie was the thing this year! Silly you! Why sit with your arms sticking out a Snuggie when you could be sliding around the house in these?

Danjo the Magnificent got his very own GPS (when Venom saw it she exclaimed, "He needs one of those!), but the GPS is lost. It can't find it's satellites anywhere. If it can't figure out where it is, I'm not sure how it will help Danjo figure out where he is. He got some other stuff too, and that stuff works great, so he's still happy. And I'm sure the GPS will find itself eventually, or it will go back to Stuffmart.

The kids got lots of gifts. Hats, hoodies, the Crayola Crayon Maker (think Easy Bake Oven-- but no one has to eat the results), art supplies, and Young Adventurer got some very awesome colored pencils that look like sticks from a special grandma. And we got our kids guns. Because kids should get guns for Christmas. And because armed and dangerous is a good photo opportunity for the Sidewalk Driver.

From left to right: "I have a plan", "I have you in my sights", and "you should not have said that"

"Keep the change, you filthy animal!"

And then there's Adventurer Two, who really needs a new name, and really thinks she's Rose Tyler: "Do you like my gun(s)?"
They are planning an ARC Heist. Better read fast, Booyor...

Enough of little kids with guns.

All the food I cooked was very yummy. We all agreed. I wish I had baked an apple pie instead of buying one, then it would have been yummy too.

Last, and causing many laughs in just the first few pages, is Andrew Peterson's On The Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness. Gave it to the kids as something for me to read aloud to them, because they still like that, even though they can read for themselves. Andrew Peterson is a singer/songwriter--same guy as in the youtube videos from yesterday's blog post. He's also an author. This book is one of two (so far?) and we'll let you know how we like it as it goes on. A little quote:

"But other than the cruel Fangs and the constant threat of death and torture, there wasn't much to fear in Skree. Except..."

If I can pronounce everything, and follow all the crazy names, it could be very fun.

Goodnight, and Merry Christmas!

Two Things

Two Important things--the second MUCH

more important than the first...

1. For all of you who have not yet received a Christmas

card from us, I'm sure they will arrive by tomorrow,

because I put them in a big Blue Box today...

2. Everything is going to be just fine!

"Fear Not!" said he, for mighty dread

had seized their troubled minds

"Glad tidings of great joy I bring

To you and all mankind..."

"Glory be to God on high

And to the earth be peace

Goodwill henceforth from God to men

Begin and never cease!"

So Sing out with joy

To the brave little boy

Who was God and He made Himself Nothing

Well He gave up His pride

And came here to die

Like a man...

It Escaped!

It was restless, up there, following the guys following the star. It wanted, um, faster transportation, and it found it....

After that little thrill ride, it found a sofa. Not too hard, not too soft, Just right!
Editor's note: Good job it found the car before and not after it found NScale's Panic Room. Anyway, This morning, after it had sufficiently recovered from it's late-night encounter with the Black Sheep to stagger out the door again, it moved on...
It found it's way across town. It checked the mail. It warmed itself by the fire. Well, it tried anyway--it did warm itself in this cheery, yet very quiet house.
It was tired. It wanted to lie down. Again, it found the perfect place--not to hard, not too soft--Just Right...

Until I found it, grabbed it by it's ear, and hauled it back home to it's perch, following the guys following the star.

Just more pictures, in random order, and news.

something else from the Great White Elephant Judgement. Young Adventurer gets rid of his trash truck. Big Green has gone. Boy moves on to higher-end electronics.

Venom and her instrument

Adventurer Two and a clean puppy, a couple of days before goodbye.

Young Adventurer, sporting a snowman, a sideburn, and some thick black lashes

This one, well, it was just a strange place for a hospital fundraiser. I think they were going for a trendy "loft" effect, but it didn't work so well in the built-but-never-quite-finished-or-occupied, victim of the recession, 5-story "highrise."It was a depressing place, actually. The chandeliers were an interesting touch, though, and Adventurer Two and her orchestra played a cheery version of dueling jingle strings to cheer things up.

Today's Headlines:

Adventurer Two solves the Rubik's Cube! Now she just needs to memorize the patterns.

Venom scores big at another White Elephant. She also rids herself of "Heavenly Hips" and company from the last Judgement, possibly to the dismay of a certain friend whose brother obtained them. Hope it's not your birthday present! ;-)

Young Adventurer and Danjo the Magnificent defeat Contra on the Old System. Gotta love the Konami Code.

I have received a request from a band which wants to possess my Twitter "handle."

I likes this Twitter handle and prefer to keep it. I had it first. I will keep my Tweets protected in order to protect the band's groupies from utter confusion.

That is all. It was a quiet day...

except for when the Dare Not Linger girl pointed out the frozen frog legs...

and even then, it was quiet...

That is all, really.

Great White Elephant Judgement, Part II

You never know what might spark an important realisation: a work of art, a rambling breeze, a brick to the head, or even the confused ramblings of some old friend...

Anyway, a few pieces are coming together now regarding the history of the thing that lurks, and was spawned, and was revealed the night of the Great White Elephant Judgement. It was indeed spawned in a confused mind--the confused, even demented mind of Santa Claus. That explains a lot, doesn't it? This creature, a hideous collision of Ma Ingalls' dress form, a road kill reindeer, and the ten-horned beast of the Apocalypse of John, which has now been unleashed to torment many of you, now lurks, in waiting, exploring it's new surroundings, terrorizing weary travellers from the vaulted perch on which it now sits. It plots mayhem. It wishes it knew whether it is a boy or a girl. It has a name. It is...

BlitzenStein

Letting me get my hands on it was another bit of confusion. You all may want to get Santa's head examined before he fills your stockings. One mistake like this was enough.

Things To Do While Wearing Flip Flops

Well, maybe the flip flops were not the best choice on a chilly morning, near sunrise, to go photograph geese and cacti on a gravel path, but they did the job. I thought I was going to drive Venom to school. I was greeted by a beautiful sunrise, and pleased to remember my camera was in the glove compartment. There's a nice place for walks on the way home (yes, I did drive her to school--for finals), and I was compelled to stop. I did get cold feet, however. Ha Ha!! The geese photos are for my Dare Not Linger friend. I was thinking of you when I took them. I also have discovered how to embed a slide show. Look out!

The Great White Elephant Judgement

It lurks patiently, biding it's time. It knows all about long waits. Spawned in the twisted, or perhaps sadly misguided and very confused imagination of someone or something; mass(?)-produced in China, at a factory operated by some person who, perhaps caring more for his personal health and well-being than the wise management of his factory, didn't look too closely; packed in a box; shoved into a container; shipped across the turbulent Pacific seas; sucked into the holiday retail vortex, and spewed out upon the crowded shelves of TJMaxx,

"the [thing] passed out of knowledge and legend;

and even so much of it's history

is known now only to a few..."

And boy, if it falls into the wrong hands...

Water, "running humble with a power you cannot see"

The Story:

There was this guy named Naaman. He was an army commander for Aram. The king liked and respected him, because God had used him to bring victory to the Arameans. But the poor guy had a nasty skin disease. On one of the Aramean raids into Israelite territory, they had captured a little Israelite girl. She was now a slave of Naaman's wife. She noticed his skin disease, and told his wife that if only Naaman would go to the Israelite prophet, he could be healed of his disease.

Naaman went and told this to his boss the king. The king said, "Go, by all means!" and sent him with a letter to the king of Israel and a bunch of gifts and money. Naaman went off to the king of Israel. When the king saw the letter, which said "I'm sending Naaman to you so you can heal him of his skin disease," he kind of freaked out and said, "Who am I? Some sort of god to give death and life? The king of Aram is trying to pick a fight!!" and he tore his clothes over it.

When Elisha the prophet heard about this, he sent off to the king and said, "What's your problem? Send this guy here and I'll take care of it and he'll know that there actually is a prophet in Israel."

So Naaman headed over to Elisha. When he pulled up in his chariot, Elisha sent someone out to tell him to go bathe seven times in the Jordan river and he'd be all well. This made Naaman really mad. He said, "I thought this guy would come out to me, and call on the name of his God Yahweh, and wave his hands over my diseased skin, and cure it. Instead he tells me to go take a bath in Israel's river. Heck, we have better water than that back home in Damascus! I can take a bath there!" And he stomped off in a rage.

But his servants came to him and said, "Come on, Naaman! If he had asked you to go do something hard, wouldn't you have done it? So he's told you to go do something easy. Just try it and see..."

So Naaman went down to the Jordan and tried it...

and it worked!

The song:

Andrew Peterson, "All You'll Ever Need" Resurrection Letters, Vol. II

Safe Places

Just for Venom

Since some classes are so easy you may not even need to take the final...

I Ioannis 4

1 carissimi nolite omni spiritui credere sed probate spiritus si ex Deo sint quoniam multi pseudoprophetae exierunt in mundum 2 in hoc cognoscitur Spiritus Dei omnis spiritus qui confitetur Iesum Christum in carne venisse ex Deo est 3 et omnis spiritus qui solvit Iesum ex Deo non est et hoc est antichristi quod audistis quoniam venit et nunc iam in mundo est 4 vos ex Deo estis filioli et vicistis eos quoniam maior est qui in vobis est quam qui in mundo 5 ipsi de mundo sunt ideo de mundo loquuntur et mundus eos audit 6 nos ex Deo sumus qui novit Deum audit nos qui non est ex Deo non audit nos in hoc cognoscimus Spiritum veritatis et spiritum erroris

7 carissimi diligamus invicem quoniam caritas ex Deo est et omnis qui diligit ex Deo natus est et cognoscit Deum 8 qui non diligit non novit Deum quoniam Deus caritas est 9 in hoc apparuit caritas Dei in nobis quoniam Filium suum unigenitum misit Deus in mundum ut vivamus per eum 10 in hoc est caritas non quasi nos dilexerimus Deum sed quoniam ipse dilexit nos et misit Filium suum propitiationem pro peccatis nostris 11 carissimi si sic Deus dilexit nos et nos debemus alterutrum diligere 12 Deum nemo vidit umquam si diligamus invicem Deus in nobis manet et caritas eius in nobis perfecta est 13 in hoc intellegimus quoniam in eo manemus et ipse in nobis quoniam de Spiritu suo dedit nobis 14 et nos vidimus et testificamur quoniam Pater misit Filium salvatorem mundi

15 quisque confessus fuerit quoniam Iesus est Filius Dei Deus in eo manet et ipse in Deo 16 et nos cognovimus et credidimus caritati quam habet Deus in nobis Deus caritas est et qui manet in caritate in Deo manet et Deus in eo 17 in hoc perfecta est caritas nobiscum ut fiduciam habeamus in die iudicii quia sicut ille est et nos sumus in hoc mundo 18 timor non est in caritate sed perfecta caritas foras mittit timorem quoniam timor poenam habet qui autem timet non est perfectus in caritate 19 nos ergo diligamus quoniam Deus prior dilexit nos 20 si quis dixerit quoniam diligo Deum et fratrem suum oderit mendax est qui enim non diligit fratrem suum quem vidit Deum quem non vidit quomodo potest diligere 21 et hoc mandatum habemus ab eo ut qui diligit Deum diligat et fratrem suum

Danjo's Ongoing 40th Birthday Celebration

Happy 40th Birthday Danjo!

This is for you, compliments of Urban Ranger:

In case you aren't sure

what to do next,

click here

And this is for you too:

P.S. Now you are forty.

Love ya!

Danjo the Magnificent's last act as a young man

Danjo wants you all to know that he is not yet 40. For the rest of today he is still only 39

Yes, those are miniature marshmallows...

Yes, he ate them...

All I can say is I'm glad we don't have any raisins in the house. I'll try and keep him away from the peanuts, at least till he grows up tomorrow.

A Story for You

A Day at the Bazaar

By Adventurer Two

Dirt blows into my face as I walk to the bazaar, my mom gave me 15 pounds to spend as I wish. “Hubby Tubby” hmm sounds interesting I’ll check it out first. “What do you sell?” I asked the lady at the booth. “we sell tub soap, you haven't heard of us? We are worldwide famous!” the lady at the booth said proudly with a very bizarre accent. “Smell this one” the lady shoves a bar of tub soap in my face. I took a whiff “whoa, smells........minty and orchidy” I stutter. “Here you can have some its a free sample” she puts the minty orchidy soap in a bag and pats my shoulder “sweet smelling”

Th next few minuets I spend wondering around looking for something good to buy. I pass Seasons greeting which apparently only sells Easter cards (keep in mind its winter) and bruise shoes which sells wooden shoes. I passed those by they didn't look appealing.

“Excuse me” a small voice squeaked. “uhh,”I looked around in confusion. “down here” the voice said again. I look down to see a very petite lady holding a blue plastic nose. “would you like a blue plastic nose?” the lady said. “I guess?” I mutter. “ hmm let me measure your nose” she says. She measures the distance from one side to the other horizontal then she measures vertically from one side to the other. When she is done she prods in a box and comes out with a nose and places it on mine. “ah perfect! “ ,she proclaims “A little big so you can grow! That will be three pounds” I place three pounds in her small hand, she intern puts my new blue nose in a bag and I stride away.

I walk to the next booth “Freckle Beckele.” “ Do you need help finding anything” the slender man at the booth questions. “ what do you sell?” I ask. “we sell freckle increaser,” his low voice replies. “ I don’t need freckles. “well then you can go you are a waste of my time” he huffs and walks to the next customer.

“Breeze T’s get your Breeze T’s, Only seven pounds” a pudgy man hollers. “hmm giant flappy shirts they look good for pajamas” I mutter under under my breath. “I would like to buy one” I stick out my hand holding seven pounds. “here you go young lady” he hands me a shirt and takes my money “ have a good day!” he hollers after me.

The next booth has several ladies lounging at it, all of them have way to much makeup on. “ohh my dear you have such a pale face” a voice says from behind me” sit down, you need makeup and I’m am going to do it for you” the lady says enthusiastically and at the same time soothingly. I plop down on the seat and relax, she talked to me about makeup but that stuff is boring. when she is done I feel like I have 10 pounds on my face, she hands me a mirror. “ Wow you did a gorgeous job on my makeup! I would like to buy some” I proclaim. “here only five pounds” she says happy she sold some. “I'll take it” I say enthusiastically. I am handed a huge purple fluffy sparkly fluffy bag and I am off.

“The sun is setting I better head home I’ll have visit Purple contacts, green dots, and ponytails for less another day. As I walk home I recall the things I got: A big bag of makeup, a giant Breeze T, a plastic nose, and a bar of tub soap, all for fifteen pounds.

“Mom I am home........ oooooo you made muffins!” I exclaim. “Dinner is ready what did you get” I got a huge hug from my mom and I got out my bag. I showed her all I got and we had a laugh and ate dinner.