Finally, news worth reading

Mom always said not to eat watermelon seeds or one might sprout and grow right out my ear. Well, mom, it was actually PEAS, and I'm half hoping this could happen to me...

Next, you never know when how well you spell could suddenly put your country's international reputation at stake. If spelling is a challenge, keep the ipod touch dictionary app handy, and learn to spell-check.

Finally, because it's almost time to go get the kids from school, here's the story to read so you know who to blame for asdfghjkl;