Why wasn't this on the outside of the box?

The following found in the instructions of the portable basketball hoop we purchased for the Adventurers for Christmas. We had no idea...

"Do not attempt to assemble this system without reading and following all instructions carefully. Failure to comply with any of the warnings in these instructions may result in serious personal injuries such as cuts, broken bones, nerve damage, paralysis, brain injury or death. Failure to comply may also result in property damage and will void warranty."

Should we have purchased the more expensive model? Or maybe this is why we don't usually shop at Buy'N'Large but generally stick to the Bullseye.

9-1-1 dialed into the phone as Danjo the Magnificent and King Carrot (aka Grandpa L.) attempt the assembly. 

Did I mention that certain steps in the assembly process are also irreversible? Would that be the death, or brain injury?

Edited to add:

After encountering more warnings on page six, referring back to the previously quoted warnings on page two, King Carrot and Danjo the Magnificent are now claiming an adrenalin rush, saying this may be the most dangerous thing they have ever done.

I am expecting The Doctor to arrive at any moment. 

More Photos Later

Reading the Christmas Story

Anyone ever heard?

Of Andrew Peterson? He writes books and songs. Looks like the book is new, but he's been writing songs for a while. My sis just mentioned a song of his tonight and I am intrigued. The song is Matthew's Begats, and it is on iTunes. I haven't heard a song about the begats before, but I think I like it. It has a little banjo thrown in to add to the appeal. The other stuff there sounds very cool too. The sample of O Come, O Come, Emmanuel was awesome classical guitarish stuff as well.

 BTW, grandma has always referred to her sisters as "my sis Edna" or "my sis Ruby." So there you go, Sis.

What to do...

So far, on the dog haircut front, we have no admission of guilt, just a guilty look and a determined denial when interrogated using non-terrorist techniques. Totally not sure what to do. I'm not really cool with waterboarding. For now, we are waiting and praying that the hand of God is heavy upon him when he hides his sin, or that we are somehow wrong in our identification of suspects. 

I suspect I am getting a cold for Christmas, so I am drinking tea and reading a book-Nim's Island, for all who are curious. Cute story so far. Better than Magic Treehouse, in my adult opinion.

Dusting for Fingerprints, Interviewing suspects

Evidence:

• Big chunk of hair missing over Indie's ear.
  
• Even cut-not hair caught on a bush in the yard.
  
• Easy access to scissors for all members of household.
  
• Young Adventurer has been acting strangely for about 24 hours now. Asked to go to bed an hour early last night, skipped two meals yesterday, shows no sign of illness, seemed depressed--or is it guilt?
  
• Young Adventurer is the only one of the three children who has ever cut his own hair.
  
• If it had been Stevo, Dusty would have been shaved, not Indie, by his own admission, and due to Dusty's generally hostile behavior toward Stevo. 
  
• No one else has probable cause.
  

The, uh, Suspect is fortunate that this was Indie of the ragged itchy scratchy coat, rather than princess Dusty, or I would be more upset. As it is, I am wondering what consequence would be an effective deterrent against a repeat...